Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
