I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
