His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
