I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
