He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
