i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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