He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
