Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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