I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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