Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
