I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
