I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize