i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
