Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
