Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
