soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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