There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
