That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
