We're like a lot better than the average bears
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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