I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
