Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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