let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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