The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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