my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
These tits shall not be calmed
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
