dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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