dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
