Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i've created a new STD.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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