he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
