just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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