And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
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