don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
