You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize