return my video game
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
