I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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