I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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