Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
