i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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