white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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