covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
