your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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