You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Houston, we have a blender
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Randomize
