Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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