Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
