Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I still have a little drunk in my system
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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