Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
