that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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