I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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