Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
