Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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