why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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