I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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