I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You ruined the universe
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
