So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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