This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
