Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
These tits shall not be calmed
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
