She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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