I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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