By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
