I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
