White coat. Heels.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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