I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Found your dick twin last night
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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