She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
