How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
