If i come over, it means nothing
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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