I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
